We Really Like to Write, Honest We Do

We're just not that fond of blogging.

I know I should do it anyway. I should also be working on my children's books--I have several irons in that fire. Those take time and concentration. Whereas, blogging is really quick and easy.

But how can a person think of blogging, when ...

1. The beach, just a few miles away, beckons.
2. The dog, just a nose-hair away, whines.
3. The laundry, downstairs, is piling up.
4. Ditto the dog poop in the yard.
5. There are crossword puzzles, colored pencils and paints, balls of yarn, a sewing machine, several gardens, a rock tumbler (oops, my husband doesn't know about that one), and a collection of musical instruments that includes guitars, violins, flutes, pianos, a mandolin, and a hammered dulcimer (don't ask, it goes back to my Renaissance Faire days).

There are simply not enough hours in the day to give the proper attention to all these things. Time just zips by, like the train that I hear just beyond the highway. It sounds so pleasant as it rumbles past, the bell's gentle clanging reminding me of a folk song from my youth. And I think, "Wow, that was a long damn time ago."

Then I grab the nearest notepad and jot down the following:

Look up Amtrak schedule--check times and fares for trip up the coast. 

This note, too, will be lost in the clutter on my desk, along with the one that says, Call the septic guy, and another one that says, Don't forget to do a blog post.

Oh well. Happy summer!

Diane

Voodoo Dogs, Etc.

                                These are Evy's creations--crocheted dogs (and cats)
                                that serve as pincushions, paperweights, and ball holders.
                                She can custom make one for your pet!

Just Under the Wire

Diane here. Can you believe it? The end of 2012. I am writing today so that I can say I wrote a December blog, because it's still December. By a hair. Which reminds me, I'd intended to color my hair during the holidays. The gray strands are not attractive. Kinda wiry and flyaway ...

Nothing like holding a First Annual Holiday Boutique in your neighborhood to discover a few things about yourself. And I like to follow Socrates' advice, Know Thyself. It tends to move you in a positive direction, once you gets over the humbling experience of thinking your uber-artsy Ocean-Themed Magnets would be the big seller, when in fact it was the whimsical Voodoo Dog Collection that stole the show.

So, I'm taking orders and Evy is chunking out the crocheted canines. And they are going like hot-cakes! (Er, hotdogs?) Custom-made to match your dog's breed and personality, three functional styles are offered:
   1.  Voodoo Pin Cushion. Popular with the dog-loving, sewing buffs (or possibly the boss-hating crowd).
   2.  Voodoo Ball Holder. Always searching for your dog's favorite ball? Now it has a home!
   3.  Voodoo Paperweight. A replica of your dog (in yarn, so maybe replica is too strong a word) can sit atop the pile of papers on your desk.

Evy is having fun making the dogs, and has even branched out into crocheting cats--Hello Kitty included. See the pics above and, of course, contact us for more info on these and any other items of interest. Evy is going to focus on crocheted goodies right now, including scarves and hats, but don't worry, she has not forsaken her painting.

As for me, I'm still freelance writing and teaching art and journalism in an after-school program here on the Central Coast. Check out Modern Serenity, an awesome green-living website with lots of great articles and ideas, including a few of my contributions. click here

My latest thing is writing chapbooks, which are perfect for flash fiction, poetry and creative nonfiction. I'm also working diligently on my children's books. It's all so much fun. The art, the writing, the teaching--the living on the Central Coast. All, except the graying hair. And I've got a date with Clairol that'll take care of that.

Enjoy!
Diane

Find Me on Teachers Pay Teachers

Diane here.  I just signed up on a great website called Teachers Pay Teachers. There, you can find (and buy) my lesson plans, including Ruthless Readers plays. I'll be adding new lessons on a regular basis, in language arts, social science, and art. All your "Artsandletters" needs in one place! It's easy, it's painless.

Being a retired teacher never felt so good!

Uno Arts Storefront

How to be a Working Writer--Your Writer's Voice

From "How to be a Working Writer" by Diane Smith

Your Writer's Voice

Want to be like me? No, I don't mean short and constipated. I mean, write like me, in my particular style. If you do, and we'll discuss your sanity later, here's how you do it.

First, you step into the shower. Next, you get out, because you've forgotten the shampoo and conditioner. Now, step back in, armed with the hair products of your choice. (It doesn't matter what they are—when dry, your hair will have the same scraggly look regardless.) Turn the water on again, full blast. It comes out in the usual dribble.

Now scream. That's right, let go with a big-ass shriek. The water is freezing! And it has only slightly more force than an elementary school drinking fountain. Despite the fact that multiple guys have come to the house to check the plumbing and they all say the same thing, “Huh. You've got plenty of pressure …”

And that's the most important factor: you must be under lots of pressure in your life in order to truly write like me. Let's assume you are. Under tremendous pressure. Mostly self-imposed, but no matter. Anyway, back to you standing in the shower, which is not exactly the stress-reducer you'd hoped for. The water has finally warmed up to tepid, and you are fully lathered from head to toe.

That is the precise moment when the PERFECT story premise comes to you. And because you have the memory of a gnat, you know you won't remember the premise after the shower. That will be a good 10 to 15 minutes in the future. By that time, your mind will have gone through many changes.

List of mind changes (oh yeah, I do a lot of list-making in my writing):

a. Crap, I forgot to bring my cell phone into the bathroom. I'll bet I've missed an important call.

b. Will my husband be annoyed with me because I used his razor?

c. The mold growing in the corners of the shower looks kinda scary.

d. Ha ha, one of my 4^th graders said Ny-a-GARR-a Falls yesterday! I should write that down.

e. I really like Taco Bell burritos.

f. Is a burrito a small burro and therefore made of donkey?

And so on.  It should be pretty obvious by this point that my writing voice is a series of non sequiturs. Because that's how I see life—a series of random events that make no sense most of the time. If you adopt my writing style, you'll find that while it is rarely marketable, it is somehow freeing. It's like unclogging a clogged drain. And god knows, I could use some unclogging. Hence, my penchant for Taco Bell burritos. 

Enjoy, and happy writing!

Summer is officially over today.  The last time we posted was in June.  We get the irony that September 6 was "Fight Procrastination Day." 

Bloggers who post on a daily basis, or even a weekly basis, have our utmost respect.  They must be super-disciplined, or really exhausted.  Either way, it's amazing.

Our hectic summer ends with the Cuesta College Writers Conference, and this year's program was another successful one.  Nothing is more inspiring and confidence-building than events like these.  Certain folks are just fun to hang with.  That list includes writers, animal lovers, and musicians.  They seem to have an attitude of "Not only am I gonna stop and smell the roses, but I'm gonna do it with my dog and my iTunes, and then I'm gonna write about it."  Thank you, Cuesta College and SLO-Nightwriters!

What's New:
*Evy has a new little book, "Oriental Brush and Verse," which is a combination of her simple techniques in Sumi-e painting and her own original haiku.  She discovered that haiku is very much like painting--both activities are meditative and the results can be very satisfying.  And they don't eat up your time!  A bonus!  Contact Evy for questions about painting and information about obtaining her booklet.

*Diane printed her three volumes of "Ruthless Readers of the Central Coast do Aesop," a collection of Aesop's fables done in play format, updated and infused with humor.  They're part of a series of Middle Grade Readers suitable for reading and performing in both small and large groups.  Diane continues this labor of love, including scripts in the areas of American Folklore, Fairytales, Greek Myths, Norse Myths, Egyptian Myths and Jataka Tales.  Eventually, she has plans to tackle such biggies as Beowulf and Gilgamesh.  She's crazy like that.  If you are a teacher and need a play adaptation of a piece of literature, contact Diane.  The library of literature taking up space in her brain is a terrible thing to waste.

*Diane also put together a pocket book called "Editor in my Pocket."  It's a culmination of all the cheat-sheets she provided for her students over the years, including helpful hints about grammar, spelling, punctuation and such.  It even includes an impressively long list of "Other Ways to Say Said."  Ask her about how you can get the book or have one custom made with your own photo as the cover.  (Hers is her dog.)

Enjoy your "roses" (and hope for rain)!

Going from Blahhhg to BLOG!

                                   Monarch butterfly--got 'em eating out of my hand? 

It's June, school's out, and we've re-cuped--as in recuperated.  At the risk of sounding like we're full of excuses, the following explains our hiatus from blogging:

1.  Diane recovered from her dental work marathon.
2.  Evy started her own dental work marathon.
3.  Diane's "little job" at the elementary school turned into a BIG job--multiple classes in poetry, reader's theater, journalism, and art.  She also coordinated and taught peer mentoring at both the middle school and the high school. (SUMMER ART CLASSES OFFERED AT Nipomo Recreation Summer Schedule).
4.  Evy has several oriental brush pieces in a local gallery (PAINTINGS ON SALE AT Five Cities Gallery).
5.  Another writing group added to our schedule.  Besides "Long Story Short," a flash critique group run by Diane, we attend "Just Us," a critique group for the children's genre. (JOIN AT SLO-Nightwriters).
6.  And finally, we'd really like to spiffy-up our blog.  You know, make it more interesting.  So ...

Thank you to our many friends and supporters, for hanging in there while our New and Improved Blog undergoes a little makeover.  Stay tuned for more cool stuff than you can shake a stick at, including new artwork and short stories we'd like to share with you.

                                                 Dragonfly--shaking a stick?
Enjoy!
Evy and Diane

P. S.  As a little preview, here's Diane's interview with the editor of Leodegraunce (READ AT Leodegraunce Author Interview).